Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
