Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
