My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
