What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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