Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize
