i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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