she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i just had sex bonerless
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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