HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
