i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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