I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
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