Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
