David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
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