We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
