so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize