I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
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