I wanna bring you to show and tell
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize