My cat gives me a boner
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
