Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize
