I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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