we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
