HIV tests are more positive than that guy
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
