My nipple is on Facebook.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
nutella sex= disaster
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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