and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
