Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
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