Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
birth control should be required to get into college
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
