Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Two words: blizzard sex
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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