do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
