his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
They have beer where we have blood.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
