The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize