I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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