I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
