the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
