She is in my trunk
just come out here and I will go home with you...
Where is the hickey?
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
