oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I have aggressive nipples.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
