Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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