Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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