Having a random hookup so left but love u
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
