Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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