I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
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