Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize