We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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