just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Shame - the story of my life.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
