I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Randomize