i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Randomize
