New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
