im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize