She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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