Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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