No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
