think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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