I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
