ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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