if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
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