I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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