the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize