I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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