i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
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