I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
