Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
