My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
We left the knife in your bed.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Randomize
