I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I am available for nakedness
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
