Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize