do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
