he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
