8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
There are leaves in my underwear?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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