Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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